Guest Review: BMW 135i
WORDS Empy  | 14 October 2008

4/5ths an M3 at 3/5ths the price. Photos by: Author Every so often, a car comes along that defies classification or categorization. A car that is so different from any other car that came before, that it truly is in a class of its own. Such cars are instant classics, and and make-or-break propositions for their parent company. The new 2008 BMW 135i is not that car. The car that put an upstart company with the tongue-twisting name of Bayerische Moteren Werke on the world map was the 2002, and the 2002 Turbo. In 1968, a little bug-eyed, kidney-grilled coupe created such a market for high-performance luxury compact cars that its successor, the 3-series, continues to dominate today. The limited-edition (1,672 made) 2002 Turbo raised the bar even further, being the only turbocharged petrol-engined car ever produced by a company known for its smooth-revving naturally aspirated inline 6's. Until now. The 135i coupe is the spiritual successor of the segment-busting 2002 turbo. It sports the same award-winning N54 twin turbo engine found in the 335i and the 535i, and its aggressive bulldog stance and sharp features attract as much attention on the road as its ancestor must have done during the decade of free love. But the most interesting aspect of this car is the strategic direction the 1-series represents. BMW 2002tii. From Wikipedia Over the past two decades, BMW has seen its cars grow bigger, heavier, and filled with more and more luxury accoutrements as it attempted to fend off challenges from the Audis and Infinitis that have tried to steal the market it has defined and created. As a result, the current 3-series is a fast, comfortable luxury performance car that nonetheless lacks the sense of urgency and go-kart feel that BMWs used to be famous for. The 135i returns BMW to the things that made it great. Around the world, BMW purists are crying tears of joy into their chardonnay. The formula is very simple - cram the hottest engine you can find into a small package, and let the fun begin. Except that since we're talking about BMW here, add hefty scoops of refinement and sublime handling into the recipe. The 135i is agile, surprisingly luxurious, and as fast as a missile. From the outside, the 1-series' looks are pure love-it-or-hate-it. To some, it's aggressive and edgy. To others, it's plain awkward. But the body structure is very functional. The upright greenhouse, with large glass areas that spill over to a too-short rear deck, doesn't have the classic sportscar lines, but it provides excellent interior room and outward visibility for its compact dimensions. Which, by the way, isn't exactly Ford Expedition-esque - most drivers under 250 lbs will feel comfortable up front, but any passengers over 5'9" will be comfortable in the back for shorter trips at best. The trunk (no spare tire!) looks like it will fit a golf bag or a set of duffels, but not much more. You don't really step into the 1-series, you kind of fall and settle into the wonderfully supportive sport seats (optional with the sport package). More about those seats later. If this isn't your first BMW, the car will feel wonderfully familiar - from the font on the easy-to-read gauges, to the carefully sorted ergonomics, to the supple BMW leather with its own unique smell. Grab the thick, M-inspired steering wheel, press the ENGINE START/STOP button, and the 300 bhp N54 burbles to life with a nice throaty sound. 300 BHP. Remember when that was a staggering amount of power? Like, 3 years ago when the 996 Carrera and E46 M3 made around that much? Things have changed and the horsepower wars have escalated, but 300 hp is still 300 hp. In a tiny compact car. My personal 135i is still in its break-in period, so full-throttle, torque-braked launches are still verboten, but international car mags have clocked this car as low as 4.7 seconds 0-60 mph, and 13.4 seconds in the quarter mile at 104 mph. But what is truly impressive is how this power is generated. For those of you having visions about the vomit-inducing power lag of single-turbo Supras, there's no need to worry – all 300 ft.lbs. of torque of the reigning “International Engine of the Year” are available at 1400 rpm, and continues in a torque curve as flat as Red Rock, Utah all the way to the 7000 rpm redline. What does all that technobabble mean? Simple - ridiculous power, all the time. Any engine speed, any gear. Effortlessly. Launch the car from a stop and you'll be at 80 mph before your passenger/spouse can react and start punching you in the shoulder to make you slow down. On the highway, downshift and hit the go pedal, and watch how quickly the taillights in the distance come up. If you're coming up on someone too fast, press the brake pedal and the 6-piston, Brembo-sourced brakes scrub off your speed effortlessly. On sweeping turns, the suspension settles, plants the car, and keeps you on track with only a hint of understeer. Around the sharper turns, the car feels nimble and is easy to point-and-shoot. And those sport seats (side, bottom and lumbar-bolstered) keep you centered regardless of the G-forces conspiring to hurl you out of the car window. Like all BMW's, the 135i has an alphabet soup's worth of safety features (ABS, SRS, DSC, DTC), and combined with the handling and those wonderful brakes, gives the car limits that are beyond the nerve of most drivers (including myself). All cars in BMW's price strata need to come to the party with luxury and convenience features, and the 135i doesn't disappoint. Comfort Access is an option that allows you to open your door and start your car without touching your key, as long as it's within range. The Adaptive Lighting system automatically senses when to turn on the bi-xenon HID headlamps, and adjusts the beams on the fly to follow the road. The voice-activated phone system pairs easily with your cell phone using Bluetooth, and pipes clearly through your stereo speakers. GPS Navigation and iDrive are an (expensive) option, which the car used for this review was not equipped with. And in North America, all BMW's are equipped with BMW Assist, which is essentially your guardian angel service to call whenever you get in trouble. I called the service to set my account up, and a sultry-sounding girl named Karen told me how they would call the police if they detected I was in an accident, send someone to help if I ran out of gas, and even help me find a good restaurant wherever I found myself. Alas, she regretfully told me that she would be unable to accompany me to the restaurant and enjoy a meal with me. Apparently, it's not THAT kind of service. The car isn't perfect though. The aforementioned understeer is a bit weird coming from a Bimmer, and is probably a side effect of the Munich engineers trying to dial in a more comfortable ride. But it's nothing a set of dual-adjustable KW coilovers can't fix. The ride can be jarring because of the stiff sidewalls of the Bridgestone Potenza runflat tires - it feels like your dental fillings are shaking loose on poorly patched asphalt, and at least one pothole has cause an interior trim piece to come off and ricochet around the passenger compartment. Fuel consumption is good for a high-performance vehicle - exactly 20.0 mpg for the first 1000 miles - but in a world of $150 oil barrels, a substantial part of your paycheck is going to go to Big Oil's profit margins. It's surprisingly heavy for such a small car, and worst of all, it is very expensive for a supposedly entry-level car. Prices start at USD 35,000, but as anyone who has had experience shopping for Bimmers knows, once you equip it the way you want, the price tag skyrockets. While taking delivery of my car, i noticed a convertible, sport and premium package-equipped 135i with navigation and other accessories selling for $50,000. This price tag, plus the small size and curious looks, will probably have quite a few buyers passing on and perhaps buying a 3-series. And that's really too bad, because, as a driver's car the little 1-series is superior to its bigger brother. In the marketplace, the 135i is a bit confounding. It's no E30 M3 (handling isn't as razor sharp). It's way more expensive than the other pocket rockets like the Volkswagen R32. And it's a completely different animal from high strung turbo cars like the Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X and the Subaru WRX STi. In fact, the best comparison I can think of for the 135i is... (wait for it...) the new E92 M3. Crazy! you say. But consider this - despite giving up 114 hp to the M, the 135i's lightning-fast reflexes off the line and lighter weight help it reach 60 mph only a couple of tenths behind the M3. Both of them have sublime BMW handling characteristics, and the 135i's brakes will help it keep up on the track. I have no doubt that the M3 is, ultimately, the superior performer, but the 135i can certainly be seen as 4/5ths of an M3 for USD 25,000 less. Jeremy Clarkson has said that the 135i is the best car that BMW makes. The all-new M3 and M5 may take exception to that statement. I would prefer to say that the 135i is the car that bring BMW back to its roots. Thanks to empy for sharing his story with us. We cannot vouch for his impartiality, because BMW obviously gave him a free car to write this review, but apparently, he's very happy with the car.

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